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If there's nothing to worry about you are boring and stupid but...

...if you worry about things all the time, even ones worth your concern that's a bad bad life.


I am not good at taking care of my duties. Worse, I am not good at knowing or deciding which my duties are in the first place.


There's all the paperwork I suck at. I'm missing deadlines, forgetting or ignoring taxes, payments, all the stuff that need be settled. This keeps haunting me. I may hire an assistant-accountant at some point but by that time I hope there's enough paperwork so it's not embarrassing.


That's one of my guilty motivations to pursuing a fancy-ass life. I need help. It's stupid, somehow. First walk then fly. I'm bad at walking, not horrible but not good. Okay, I'm not good at walking but still want to fly. Seems doable but also foolish. 

Ya, so I worry about things I'm hiding away from. And it's a few, and thank God either I get them settled or there's some I have completely forgotten to give me a bad surprise in the future but of course they never end. This is my worst pain and fear and it's ridiculous, I know.

I don't worry much about relationships, money, health, success but some due payment or change of address form or whatever shit will block my life in a way I don't even know. It's weird.


This is not the point I started writing towards but it came up so fuck it. This is about starting writing again. Last time was what 2011? 2012-13 I don't even remember. It's been long and it shows in this very text. I suck at writing but at least I don't fear it. I'm just neglecting it. So, let's warp this up because I really dislike it and call it a success at being, well, text. That's enough for a first post after so long.


So long fuckers.







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